Blessings and prayers

Our adoption process has been one of the greatest journeys of my life.

I can remember when I was pregnant with Bryan, how I literally spent hours praying for his life. When he moved inside of me, I prayed for his health, for his future, for his salvation. The first moment I saw his face, I remember feeling as if I were meeting an old friend. I already knew him; he had been with me for so long that it just felt right to hold him and care for him. He was mine.

Obviously, I don't have the opportunity to feel Ellie inside of me like I did with Bryan. Another woman had that privilege, and I would not take that from her for anything in the world. I am honored that she carried the child that I will call my own and even more honored that she is entrusting that precious girl to me. But, you know, even without a pregnancy, Ellie is growing within me. She is growing in my heart.

With every new step in the process, I feel her more and more. I believe that when we meet, it will be natural. I believe that God has intended for us to be together since she was being knit in her mother's womb. And I am humbled by that. Like I said, this has been an amazing journey. God has reminded me of His unfailing love for me, how he adopted me into His family too! Wow...

I have had a front row seat to watch God work throughout this past year, as He puts everything together to bring Ellie home to us. He has answered so many prayers. He healed our hearts when we lost everything with Vietnam. He gave us new hope in Ethiopia. He even answered the seemingly simple requests I have made (like the hair questions!). He has been faithful to let us know that He is in control of everything, including the timing of bringing our girl home (think t-shirt that I posted about not long ago). And He continues to blow our minds with how He is providing the finances for this process.

Make no mistake: Adoption is very expensive. We make a good living, but we don't have that kind of money laying around here, for sure. In the beginning, we vowed to God and to each other that we would do this adoption debt free. We have been blessed by parents who have been so gracious to help us financially (thanks mom, dad and Joann!). But I have to tell you about something that I consider extraordinary!

A few weeks ago, I mentioned (as I always do) our adoption as a prayer request in my Sunday school class. I mentioned specifically that we will be coming to some very expensive parts of this process soon (we hope!). After class, a lady that I have never met before came to me, introduced herself and said "My husband and I would like to give you some money". I won't go into all of the details (not sure if she would want me to), but suffice it to say that she blessed our socks off! I was literally blown away by the generosity of these two people who did not even know us! It was yet more proof that God's desire is to unite us with our Ellie.

To the couple who gave so lovingly, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. God has used you mightily, and our daughter will know that you loved her unconditionally before you even knew who she was. Thank you for being disciples of Christ that gave willingly and lovingly. We can't wait for you to meet our girl!

To our parents... what is there to say? I Know you have given because you want Ellie home about as much as we do. Yet, you didn't have to do that for us. Your love has been incredible and encouraging throughout this entire process. Thank you for being so excited about your granddaughter! Thank you for celebrating with us along the way. We can't wait for you to meet Ellie (soon, we hope!)

And most of all, thanks be to God, who has faithfully blessed us, answered us, directed us and loved us always. May we be true disciples of you always.

Please continue to pray as we continue to gather the finances we need to bring our Ellie home.

Thanks!

Special Delivery

This week has been hard for me. Maybe it's the holidays coming upon us so quickly. Maybe it's the cooler weather. Maybe it's just me. I don't know the "why" but I know that I have been missing Ellie this week. It's strange to miss someone you have never met. But, you see, I already love her. She is already a part of our family, in our hearts. We already refer to her as ours. We just need to know who she is and bring her home!

I had hoped and prayed that we would have her here with us by Christmas this year. Obviously, that is not going to happen. And that's okay. Our prayers have been for God to bring her to us in His timing, which we trust is perfect. But still... how I wish she were here.

I've done some Christmas shopping, wishing that she were here to see the lights and hear the music. I've wished that she were here to take to visit Santa. I've wished she were here to see all of the families at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I've wished she were here to tell the Christmas story to so that she will hear of the miracle of Christmas.

As I have had these wishes, I have prayed so much for her. I've prayed protection over her from illness, from poverty and not enough food to eat. I've prayed for her heart that may be breaking as her mother chooses an adoption plan in the ultimate sacrifice to save her precious girl's life. I've prayed for that mother, whose heart must be breaking to make such a decision. I pray that I am worthy of her trust.

I'll admit that I have questioned whether God has heard my prayers. There have been no new girls listed on our agency site, and that is disheartening. My humanness has led me to question at times "Will this fall apart again like Vietnam?". And once again, God has answered my prayers perfectly.

Yesterday, Jeff went out to get the mail. In the box, he found a small package that held a child's t-shirt. On that shirt were the words "Special Delivery from Ethiopia". It was as if God Himself were saying to us "She is on the way. I am bringing Ellie to you. Just be patient. Trust my plan".

I do trust His plan.

Ellie, we can't wait to meet you. We can't wait for that moment when we get to see your sweet face and know that you were chosen for us. We can't wait to hold you, kiss you, and bring you to your forever home. We're coming, baby girl. Just be patient, and trust His plan.

Make A Difference

Today in the mail, I received one of my favorite things. It wasn't a magazine or a sales add. It wasn't anything to do with our adoption (although I got our correct birth certificates today too!). Today, I received a letter. And not just any letter. This letter was from Susan, the child that we sponsor through Compassion International.

We began sponsoring Susan through the youth group at FBC when Jeff was Youth Minister. However, after his position changed, we decided to take on the sponsorship ourselves. You see, we are connected to Susan. In many ways, I feel like she is a part of our family. Heck, she is a part of our family!

A few years ago, we were blessed to travel to Uganda for a mission trip. While there, we were able to meet Susan. She traveled more than 10 hours from her village to meet us at the Entebbe airport. I will never forget her face as she held that little sign with her name on it, standing there on the sidewalk waiting for us. We spent an afternoon at the zoo, holding hands and looking at the animals and flowers. We couldn't speak the same language, but we connected. I left that zoo changed forever, all because of the smile of a little girl.

You see, Susan smiles despite the circumstances of her life. Susan smiles even though both of her parents have died from AIDS. Susan smiles despite poverty. Susan smiles because she knows a loving Father in Heaven who holds her. Because of Compassion, Susan gets to know of the love of Jesus. Because of Compassion, Susan gets to eat, to study, to thrive. She aspires to be a lawyer, and she would love to come to America one day to visit and "see the airports".

When we first started to support Susan, I thought that I was helping her. What I know now, is that she has helped me far more than I ever dreamed. She has helped me to see beyond my selfishness. She has helped me to aspire to be more than I am today. She has helped me to find joy in all circumstances. She helped to ignite a passion in me to adopt, and I believe it is no coincidence that we are adopting from Africa.

Would you commit to sponsor a child too? For $32 a month (Note: we pay $40 due to Susan being in a HIV zone), you can help save the life of a child. And you just might find that that child saves you too....

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ever feel like this?

We do.

Tonight, we completed all of the final paperwork for our dossier. Let me just say that Ethiopia requires MANY more documents than Vietnam did. We have typed, printed, retyped, reprinted, taken pictures, organized, etc etc all evening. Not that I'm complaining; it's all worth it!

Tomorrow, I will call my friend Sherri, who has been gracious to notarize everything for us throughout this entire adoption journey (thanks Sherri!). Once all of that is finished, we are ready to send it on. Well, once Frankfort sends me the correct birth certificates, we will be ready. But that's another story altogether!!

Please continue to pray for this adoption. I have felt such peace and affirmation from God these past several days. I can't wait to be able to share more about that, but I don't have all the details just yet. Just suffice it to say that God is working mightily to bring Ellie to us.

I am overwhelmingly humbled and in awe that I would be chosen for this journey. Oh, how I look forward to seeing my little girl's face for the first time. For now, we are one step closer....

Proof that God hears me...

Do you ever have those moments when you are praying and you just sort of freak out? Does anyone here know what I mean? This morning was one of those times. I was praying, as I always do, for my family. As I got to my prayers for Ellie, I really just freaked out. I was telling God that I was nervous. What do I know about raising a little girl? What do I know about playing dolls and barbies? What do I know about dresses and frills? I've only had a boy all these years? How will I ever fix her hair? Especially black hair? What do I know about black hair? Seriously, I was getting really scared, people! So, I stopped praying, and I just listened. And I really felt that God was saying to me "Holly, calm down. It's going to be okay. I will give Ellie to you, and I will equip you to take care of her".

Work was busy, so I honestly didn't spend much time thinking about any of that. As I got home, though, there was a HUGE box on the front step from our adoption agency. I had no idea what it was; I wasn't expecting anything from them, certainly nothing that big! As I opened it, I saw that it was our education toolbox, filled with books and info on international adoption. On top was a stuffed monkey, and just below that was this....


yes... It's all Good Hair: the Guide to Styling and Grooming Black Children's Hair
Now someone try to tell me that God didn't hear my prayer!! How cool is that?

Destination Ellie: Update

Good news! This week we received our amended 171H form (immigration approval). This was such a huge blessing. Honestly, this one piece of paper is one of the most expensive things in the adoption dossier process. We were concerned that we would have to pay for it all over again when the doors in Vietnam closed on us.

We should have known better.

God has worked out so many things for us, and it is truly amazing to see Him at work in bringing Ellie home to us. With the 171H form in hand, we are now hurrying to gather the rest of our documents for our Ethiopian dossier. We can get a "match" (referral) any time now, and we are eagerly searching our agency's website daily as new girls are added often. Our director is actually in Ethiopia at this time meeting the children. We are praying for our little girl to be found very soon.

Meanwhile, I have bought pink paint for Ellie's room! How fun is that? And I also got a great bedding set... pink, green, yellow, flowers, butterflies...can you say "girlie"? I am lovin' this!

Please continue to pray for Ellie. Pray specifically for her safety, that she has plenty to eat, shelter, and necessary medical care. Pray for her birth parents as they make this incredibly difficult decision to make an adoption plan for their precious little girl. Pray that we are patient in waiting for her to come to us.

I promise to keep you posted!

Guess who I met?

I was at Woodland Park with Bryan and his friend. They were skateboarding, and I was reading on my blanket. It really was the perfect evening to lay out there and enjoy the gorgeous weather. I was perfectly content all by myself on my blanket when he walked up.

He smelled. Really bad.

He was a little drunk, I am quite sure.

He was strange, talking to himself at times, but friendly.

He was looking for conversation.

He told me his name as Dean Martin, then James Dean, then Charlie Brown. When he asked my name, I said "Farrah Fawcett", to which he responded "touche'".

We talked about the weather, where he was from (Michigan) and how he got to KY. He asked me to watch his "house" (backpack) while he went to "show those kids how to throw a frisbee the right way". He schooled them, for sure! He told me that his parents had died when he was a child, and his grandparents raised him. He ran away "as soon as possible so I didn't have to follow their rules". He had spoken to them a few weeks before, and they told him he could come home, but he said he didn't think he would. He said that his Grandma made him go to church if he lived with her, and I argued that maybe that was not a bad deal for three meals a day and a good warm bed to sleep in. He just shrugged his shoulders and laughed. Then he said "Life's tough, but faith gets ya through, you know?"

Yeah, I do know.

I asked him what or who he put his faith in, and he said "well, not Jesus, that's for sure", and he went on to ask if I was going to "get my preach on". I assured him I would not be preaching, but that he had mentioned faith, so I wondered what he had faith in. He asked me where I placed my faith, and I told him in Jesus Christ.

His response made me weep.

He said "I don't care for Jesus or Christians. You never get second chances from them. They judge you at every turn". He went on to tell me that he had been given more help from the "drunks, winos, prostitutes and homeless" than anyone who had ever professed to know Jesus. I apologized on behalf of all of us believers who have looked down on him because he was less fortunate. I told him I had done it too, and I was sorry. After all, the first thing I noticed was his smell, his sandals held together by duct tape, the smell of liquor on him, the dirty hands, face and feet. I hadn't looked at the person, but the outward appearance.

I was able to give him some money for a meal, since he had not eaten for several days (except for some peanut butter out of someone's trash). He asked me how I knew he wouldn't go get drunk with the money, and I told him I didn't; that was entirely up to him. But I was going to try to make him see that some who claim the name of Christ really do care, really do want to see the needs of the man he is, not just his circumstance.

I am not sure what God is doing with me these days.. leading me to homeless around me and giving me the chance to know them. But I am changed for the better because of it. Oh, that I never go back to being the person I was before I met Dean Martin/James Dean/Charlie Brown.