Happy 15th Bryan!

15 years ago tonight, I went to bed thinking of you, but surely not expecting to see your face so soon. There were no contractions to warn us of your coming...yet here you came nonetheless. You've been full of surprises from the very start! I should have known when you came on Leap Day that you were always going to be full of surprises!

My first glimpse of you was of your tiny foot. That's it; just 5 little toes and that chubby foot, and I was head over heels in love. (My oh my, how things have changed! It's not tiny anymore!!) I didn't even know yet that you were a boy. I just knew you were my baby, and that was enough.

It's always been enough. I loved you then, and I love you now, just because you're my son. And that is a beautiful thing.

I'm proud of you Bryan. I see in you a young man who is learning what the world is about, and more importantly who is learning what God is about. I see you working out your faith for yourself, and I'm glad you are. I pray it becomes more real every day, and that you live it out loud always.

I love your laugh, your quirky sense of humor. I love your eclectic style, your charm, your wit. I love your talent. I love that you are your own person, not worried about being just like everyone else around you.

For 15 years, I've watched you grow. It has been my complete joy to be your mom. I love you so much, and I'll always be your biggest fan! You bring joy to my heart every single day... even when you mess up or have to be taken to the ER (again!). You are exactly what I had dreamed of in a son, and my life is richer because of you.

Happy 15th Birthday Bryan! I love you so much!

Love,
Mom~~~

Who Needs Gifts??

He's my Valentine today

And every other day of the year as well.

He's my best friend
And so much more.

Just look at him....
What's not to love?

I love you Jeff... today and every day of my life! I don't need a gift when I have you....

yes, it's for real

I'm sometimes amazed at the questions I'm asked about adoption. I don't really get angry anymore (I did at first, admittedly). Now, more and more, I'm just saddened by it all. Ignorance really isn't bliss, is it? So, I'd like to set the record straight on one thing- once and for all, just in case any of you were wondering.

Ellie is my REAL daughter.

No, I did not give birth to her. She did not come from my womb. She doesn't have my genes or my blood flowing through her veins. If she were in need of blood, I might not be able to give it to her. Her DNA does not match my own.

HOWEVER...

The Creator of the Universe carved out a master plan that placed her in my arms. She is a spunky at 4 as her brother was. She has the same gleam in her eye when she laughs as her daddy does. She has never met a stranger, also like her daddy. She has a free and boisterous laugh like I do. She loves all things girly, just like this momma does. She has a heart for people like I do, and she sees the good in others easily like her daddy. She is creative and mischief as well- just like her brother.

I didn't have to give birth to her physically to birth a love for her. My bond with her is the same as my bond with Bryan. His took 9 months of pregnancy to develop; hers took time once she was home with us. I am not disappointed that I didn't have her naturally. She is our gift, and we are thrilled at that. We didn't adopt to replace the 4 babies that we lost to miscarriage. Ellie is no replacement for anything. She is simply our daughter.

When God places a love in you for someone, it doesn't have to make sense. I love her. That's all there is to it. I'm blessed beyond measure at the two children God has entrusted to me. I believe He perfectly orchestrated this family, and I will do my very best to honor Him at this most precious work of mothering them.

Whew....glad I got that off my chest. Now, I've got some kiddos to love on!

Intentional Marriage

For several months now, I've felt the need to pray fervently for the health and safety of my marriage. Some of this is because I've watched the marriages of several around me struggle, and I don't want to allow Satan to get a foothold in my own. Some of this is simply because it's an absolute honor to pray for Jeff and our marriage.

When we took vows, 17 1/2 years ago now, we promised to always put God first, then each other second. And what I'm realizing is that in order to fulfill those vows in today's world, you have to be willing to have what I call an "intentional marriage".

What I mean by that is this: purposely sacrificing my needs for his, purposely making what I know he will prefer for dinner when I know he's had a long day- even when it's not what I had originally planned, purposely getting Ellie and Bryan involved in some activity or chore before he gets home from work so that he can have time to himself for a few minutes- especially when I know it's been a long day, purposely carving out time to pray for Jeff, his ministry and his leadership in our family. I'm not always good at this; please don't think that. But I do always try. I value my marriage, and I'm willing to do the intentional things to keep it healthy and vibrant.

One thing that Jeff and I have been better about is intentional time together. This afternoon, we will be heading out of Richmond for 2 nights of alone time. The rules are as follows: no schedules, no alarm clocks, and no talk about the kids. Simple.

And we're good at it :)

I love my husband. I love my kids too, but let's face it... without my husband, I woudln't have the blessings of those two kiddos. I will always put him first, submit to him (because that's biblical ladies, and he is doing his part in that biblical equation too) , and honor him. And I'll ALWAYS be willing to get away for a couple of nights to celebrate this gift of marriage that God has given us!

So... go get your spouse. Get out your calendars, and carve out some intentional time for your marriage as well. I promise it will be worth it!

PS. Special thanks to my incredible mother-in-love for taking care of our kids so we can do this getaway! Love you Joann!

Orphan Awareness Month

Unicef recently stated that there are now an estimated 163 million orphans in the world today. You read that right.

163 MILLION CHILDREN

While we sit in our nice warm homes with full pantries and closets full of clothes we never wear, there are 163 million children out there doing without.

Without families.
Without shelter.
Without food.
Without clothes.
Without security.
Without safety.
Without hope.

So, while we sit and wonder if we should help them, do you know what is happening to them?

They are searching through garbage for food.
They are waiting. Alone.
They are wandering the dangerous streets of cities.
They are forced into labor in order to eat.
They are forced into the sex trade.
They are beaten.
They are belittled.
They hide in the bushes while wild dogs threaten to eat them.

This is the reality of so many in our world, and we MUST make people aware. I was once unaware too. Then God brought a tiny little girl named Kedest into our world, and she changed me. She has taught me.

She has told me some of the stories I listed above.

Someone said to me recently "I'm so glad that there are good orphanages out there for these kids". Let me tell you this: Living in an orphanage is not the same as being in a family! I'm forever grateful for the love and care our Ellie Kedest was given in her orphanage. I know without a doubt that they saved her life physically. But she was still in need; SHE NEEDED A FAMILY.

ALL CHILDREN NEED A FAMILY.

The journey of adoption is not easy. Really, is there anything in life of worth that is? What I know is this. In the past year, I've watched God redeem my daughter's life. I've watched Him pour life into her little body. I've watched Him grow her- physically, emotionally and spiritually. I've watched Him speak peace into her heart. I've watched as He used someone as unworthy as me to make a difference in her life. But really, SHE has made a difference in me more than I could have ever imagined. She is the perfect picture of His redemption. I'm reminded of this passage of scripture that says "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; You are mine"(Isaiah 43:1b).

Could it be that He is calling You to adopt as well?

NOTE: I know that not everyone is called to open their homes and bring a child in. But as followers of Christ, we ARE all called to help the orphan. James 1:27 tell us "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."

What are you doing to follow God's command to take care of the orphans?

Consider one of these opportunities.
http://www.compassion.com/
http://celebratechildren.org/
http://www.princeofpeacegt.com/index.html
http://www.sunrise.org/com


Until they are all home...

Just one little rock...

On Wednesday night, after all activities at church were finished, Bryan was riding his longboard in the church parking lot. He was doing what he does every Wednesday night, just passing the time while waiting on Jeff and I. As I turned the corner towards the doors to leave, I saw our friend William walking Bryan inside.

I had no idea what was hurting, but I knew it was bad.

Bryan was as white as a ghost and shaking. I thought immediately, "he's either going to throw up or pass out", and I went to him. He was holding his left arm to himself and obviously in tremendous pain. He simply said, "I heard it pop. Something is bad". I knew then; he had broken a bone. There was no moving that arm; it just hurt too much. We loaded him into the car and headed to the emergency room.

An hour and a couple of x-rays later, it was confirmed. Bryan's clavicle (collar bone) was snapped in half. We were referred to the orthopedic surgeon to evaluate. He was put in a sling and a wrap to immobilize his arm for the night, and we were sent home. The next day, the orthopedic surgeon graciously told us surgery was not necessary (thank you Lord!), and Bryan was placed in a harness for an unknown length of time.

It's hard to watch your kids in pain, isn't it? There isn't much I dislike more than that!! But something struck me as Bryan and I were talking on the way home from the hospital. When I asked him what had happened, he said, "Everything was fine, then there was this tiny little rock that got stuck under my wheel. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground". That's when it hit me; this is exactly the same thing that happens to us with sin.

I know that in my life, sometimes things are going fine, and then I give in to a temptation, take my eyes off of Christ, think I can handle things on my own.... and the next thing I know, I'm on the ground. And I'm hurt. And, because He's my Abba- my Daddy, God hurts too. It pains Him to see me hurting. And like any good, caring and faithful parent, He lovingly and gingerly picks me up and takes care of me.

The cool thing about God is that His touch is immediately healing. There is no harness needed for 8-12 weeks with His touch. I can't do that for Bryan (oh, how I wish I could!), but God does that for His children all the time. He offers forgiveness and sanctification immediately and free, just for the taking. But unless we choose to stay focused on Him, we will fall again.

What rocks are in your path today? Are you rolling toward them completely unaware of their presence? Are you looking the other way, thinking that you'll avoid them somehow? Or are you fixing your eyes on Jesus? Listen to this: "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us". (Hebrews 12:1)

Is there something you need to "throw off" today?

Gotcha Day~

then...














now...




I can hardly believe it's been a year since I first held my baby girl! On one hand, it feels as if I blinked, and the time was gone. On the other hand, I look at the progress she has made in a year, and I'm astonished that she could learn so much in just 12 months.

Last year, on this night, I was sitting in a little guest house room in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, staring across the room at this beautiful and TINY stranger who was my daughter. I felt awe and wonder and fear and confusion all at once.

Tonight, I have conflicting emotions again. On one hand, I feel utter gratitude. Earlier, I stood for a moment and stared at this little girl that I now know inside and out and thanked God for the gift of her in our lives. I can't explain how I've been changed in the past year. People tell us all the time what a wonderful thing we've done for Ellie. The truth is that SHE is the one who has done something for us. It's not unlike the changes I went through when Bryan first came into this world. He changed so much about who I am. Ellie has been no different, for sure. I'm not the same person I was on August 9th, 2009.

On the other hand, I sit here tonight feeling complete thankfulness and some sadness for Ellie's birth mother, Tigist. I wish I could sit and have a cup of coffee with her and tell her that her baby girl is fine now. I wish I could show her that she is no longer too thin, that she has plenty to eat and clean water to drink. I wish that she could have heard Ellie singing "How Great is Our God" today on the way home or watched her dance around the table in her tutu tonight before bed. I wish she could hear Ellie say, "I love you mom" to her. She must wonder about her; I know she loves her. I could see it in her eyes one year ago today when I had the privilege of meeting her. I wish that I could tell her all of the funny things that Ellie does. I wish I knew if Ellie cocked her head to the side when she was thinking hard because that what Tigist does.


Ellie knows the story of her birth mom, at least what she can understand for now. She looks at her picture and smiles brightly, exclaiming "that's my other mommy!". I love that! There is no jealousy at all in me when she asks about her. I'm forever indebted to this beautiful lady across the world, and I'm thrilled to teach Ellie about the beautiful sacrifice she made out of love.

Lest anyone gets the wrong idea, today was certainly not a sad day in our home! We let Ellie pick the place for dinner (McDonald's of course!), then came home to have a tea party with the cupcakes Ellie made last night. She also had a celebration with her friends at daycare as she took them cupcakes too! There were balloons (her favorite) and a new tutu for a present! We celebrate that she is home with us forever! We celebrate that her story is the story of what God does for all of us when He redeems us and brings us into His family.
Thank you Abba, for adopting me as your daughter. Thank you for using our journey to bring Ellie home and this precious year with her, to remind me every day of your unimaginable love for all of us. Thank you that your plan is to never leave any child alone, that you desire to set the orphan in families. Thank you for choosing us, for choosing me, and for letting me rejoice in the gift of this sweet sweet family you've given to me.



Happy Gotcha Day Ellie! I'm so glad you're my girl! We love you... forever and ever and ever.