Sunday, February 27, 2011
15 years ago tonight, I went to bed thinking of you, but surely not expecting to see your face so soon. There were no contractions to warn us of your coming...yet here you came nonetheless. You've been full of surprises from the very start! I should have known when you came on Leap Day that you were always going to be full of surprises!
My first glimpse of you was of your tiny foot. That's it; just 5 little toes and that chubby foot, and I was head over heels in love. (My oh my, how things have changed! It's not tiny anymore!!) I didn't even know yet that you were a boy. I just knew you were my baby, and that was enough.
It's always been enough. I loved you then, and I love you now, just because you're my son. And that is a beautiful thing.
I'm proud of you Bryan. I see in you a young man who is learning what the world is about, and more importantly who is learning what God is about. I see you working out your faith for yourself, and I'm glad you are. I pray it becomes more real every day, and that you live it out loud always.
I love your laugh, your quirky sense of humor. I love your eclectic style, your charm, your wit. I love your talent. I love that you are your own person, not worried about being just like everyone else around you.
For 15 years, I've watched you grow. It has been my complete joy to be your mom. I love you so much, and I'll always be your biggest fan! You bring joy to my heart every single day... even when you mess up or have to be taken to the ER (again!). You are exactly what I had dreamed of in a son, and my life is richer because of you.
Happy 15th Birthday Bryan! I love you so much!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I'm sometimes amazed at the questions I'm asked about adoption. I don't really get angry anymore (I did at first, admittedly). Now, more and more, I'm just saddened by it all. Ignorance really isn't bliss, is it? So, I'd like to set the record straight on one thing- once and for all, just in case any of you were wondering.
Ellie is my REAL daughter.
No, I did not give birth to her. She did not come from my womb. She doesn't have my genes or my blood flowing through her veins. If she were in need of blood, I might not be able to give it to her. Her DNA does not match my own.
The Creator of the Universe carved out a master plan that placed her in my arms. She is a spunky at 4 as her brother was. She has the same gleam in her eye when she laughs as her daddy does. She has never met a stranger, also like her daddy. She has a free and boisterous laugh like I do. She loves all things girly, just like this momma does. She has a heart for people like I do, and she sees the good in others easily like her daddy. She is creative and mischief as well- just like her brother.
I didn't have to give birth to her physically to birth a love for her. My bond with her is the same as my bond with Bryan. His took 9 months of pregnancy to develop; hers took time once she was home with us. I am not disappointed that I didn't have her naturally. She is our gift, and we are thrilled at that. We didn't adopt to replace the 4 babies that we lost to miscarriage. Ellie is no replacement for anything. She is simply our daughter.
When God places a love in you for someone, it doesn't have to make sense. I love her. That's all there is to it. I'm blessed beyond measure at the two children God has entrusted to me. I believe He perfectly orchestrated this family, and I will do my very best to honor Him at this most precious work of mothering them.
Whew....glad I got that off my chest. Now, I've got some kiddos to love on!