Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Fifty Shades of H-E-double hockey sticks NO!



February... the month of love, where hearts abound, love songs ring through the speakers, and roses suddenly escalate in price. I can't even comprehend how much money will be spent on chocolates, stuffed animals, diamonds, flowers, and dinners out to celebrate the ones we love. Frankly, I'm so grateful to have a husband that treats every day like Valentine's Day and celebrates me every minute. We don't need gifts on February 14th, but I digress.

February 14th also marks a monumental occasion that is flooding my Facebook page and my tv screen even as I type these words. It's the release date for "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Let me preface this by saying that I realize I have a lot of friends who will see this movie, and I'm taking a risk I guess of being kicked out of the cool club (not that I ever entered) just by writing my thoughts. But that's ok with me. I feel quite strongly about this subject, so I am compelled to write these words.

I'll also admit that I read a lot of the book. Several people were talking about it, and I wanted to be educated enough to at least discuss it with people. And I find it hard to argue against something when I really don't know what I'm talking about it.

I couldn't finish it. I was actually sickened by what I read. I had my first nightmare in years about being raped. I closed it and returned it to its owner and swore I'd never do that again. But I read enough to speak to its reality.

Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing short of porn. I believe wholeheartedly that while guys are visual and more prone to be tempted to look at pornographic pictures, us gals are emotional and so some ladies flock to pornographic writings to fill a void. And my heart is broken over the more than 100 MILLION people who have purchased this book. What kinds of voids are those folks, primarily ladies, trying to fill with this? Because whatever it is, this won't work.

You cannot fill a void in the heart with images of violence and domination. You cannot fix loneliness with words on a page that speak of torture and tearing down the essence of a woman. You cannot replace poor self esteem with graphic scenes of sexual perversion. It just doesn't equate. We weren't created to be "fixed" with trash.

I have sat hand in hand with ladies who have suffered severe violence at the hands of a domineering man. I've seen with my own eyes their scars, leftover marks reminding these ladies of just how horrendous humans can be. I've sat weeping as ladies have told me their stories of being trafficked, bound, beaten, raped, ridiculed, terrorized, threatened, and more. I've wept with ladies who had to come to terms with the fact that the child they were carrying in their womb shared a genetic line with the man who had mutilated, sold them to others for their financial gain, and followed through on threats to bring even more hurt if they fought. I myself carry the scars of a man who forced his power over me.

With all of that in my heart and mind, I cannot for the life of me understand that something like Fifty Shades of Grey is seen as entertainment. Folks, sexual perversion is NEVER entertainment.

The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) tells us that an American is sexually assaulted every 107 seconds.
That's more than 800 a day just here in America.

According to the A21 Campaign, there are 27 MILLION people in bondage(Slavery) around the world. The average age of those victims is 12.

When I read statistics like that, I can't for the life of me understand how we can be so flippant about something like Fifty Shades. You see, when we trivialize sexual deviance, we make people think it's "not that bad". We become immune to its effects, to its vulgarity. We normalize what is far from normal. And when that happens, it's a slippery slope. Suddenly, you have little girls watching this filth that we call entertainment, getting those images of perversion in their innocent heads and starting the spark that says "this is normal between and man and a woman". NO!!

If we want Truth, we have to go to Scripture. And God's word tells us that we are to guard our hearts and keep our eyes to ourselves (Proverbs 23:26).
When we look at things we shouldn't, the bible says this: "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are  bad, your body is also full of darkness" (Luke 11:34)

1 Thessalonians 4:3 tells us "It is God's will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality".

I really want to honor God in my life. I don't get it right all of the time. In fact, I screw up a LOT. Blogs and Facebook are often a farce because I get to pick and choose what I show to the world about who I am. But God sees it all- the good, bad, and ugly. And you know what? He loves me despite it all. He loves you too, even if you have a burning desire to see Fifty Shades of Grey. Heck, He loves the makers of this movie, the writer of this book. It's not a question of His love for me or us. The question is about our love for him.

Do we love him enough to lay down our desires? Do we love him enough to lay down the voids in our hearts and trust Him to fill them with good things rather than the trash the world will heap on us? Do we love him enough to say "no" when the world is screaming "Yes"?

I can't find one good thing to say about this movie. Not one. I can't find one thing about it that would justify my watching it. I can't even think about it without the images of my friends who've fallen victim of these kinds of lies and deviance filling up my head. And so I beg you to reconsider if you are one of the many who are making plans to see Fifty Shades. Consider the harm it really can cause. Consider the way it objectifies a women as a sex toy, dehumanizing her for the pleasure of a man. Consider that there are those today who really are trapped in this world, and it's not entertainment; it's torture.

Let's choose to be different. Let's choose love instead. Because love- real, authentic love- wins.

6 comments:

Lisa preuett said...

Very well written, Holly! Thanks for sharing your heart on a hot topic. Hope your post will speak to many and give them a fresh perspective!

Diane Dean White said...

Excellent review...you've shared a lot of truths. Pray young girls and women will not watch this. Sounds like a nightmare!

Flossie said...

A dear friend of mine read the book. Her review was something to the effect of, "I finished it only because I felt like with such huge popularity it had to get better at some point. It didn't. It's not that it's just about sex. It's WEIRD sex. I won't read the others."

Morality aside, I can't imagine watching something with that much sex in a theatre that will likely be 1/2 men. Just kinda leaves me feeling slimy even thinking about it.

Kimmie said...

I'd have to agree.

A girl who asked me to mentor her has just "un-mentored" me. I found she had planned on seeing it and bringing her boyfriend along for fun. She is a newer Christian and not grounded in the Word.

I advised her to not go. I told her the movie would go easily in and then never (unless by God himself) would it come out. I told her that we should never entertain ourselves with something that sent Jesus to the cross.

She said I didn't understand her past and her pain. This movie was about healing, found in love.

I disagreed strongly. She said I didn't read the series and had only googled movie reviews (not true...I listened to my husband and also our youth Pastor too) She not only un-mentored me. She said I was judgmental and opinionated, besides a page full of other stuff.

I don't think she knows what Christian mentoring is. Wise counsel. Funny people love you until you try to give them godly correction.

My heart is heavy, as she just doesn't get it.

The good news is her boyfriend took the warning and didn't go with her this weekend to see it. (which made her mad!!)
She is still set on seeing it and made sure I knew.

My heart has been heavy. I need to love her and not stop. But everything in me says, "Run, she is mean."

God told me to "Love until it Hurts and then i would have it right."

OUCH!!

Kimmie
mama to 8
one homemade and 7 adopted

Bird's Words said...

Kimmie, I emailed you. So much truth to what you said! Love you, my friend!

darwis kadir said...

good...