Thursday, January 27, 2011

Intentional Marriage


For several months now, I've felt the need to pray fervently for the health and safety of my marriage. Some of this is because I've watched the marriages of several around me struggle, and I don't want to allow Satan to get a foothold in my own. Some of this is simply because it's an absolute honor to pray for Jeff and our marriage.

When we took vows, 17 1/2 years ago now, we promised to always put God first, then each other second. And what I'm realizing is that in order to fulfill those vows in today's world, you have to be willing to have what I call an "intentional marriage".

What I mean by that is this: purposely sacrificing my needs for his, purposely making what I know he will prefer for dinner when I know he's had a long day- even when it's not what I had originally planned, purposely getting Ellie and Bryan involved in some activity or chore before he gets home from work so that he can have time to himself for a few minutes- especially when I know it's been a long day, purposely carving out time to pray for Jeff, his ministry and his leadership in our family. I'm not always good at this; please don't think that. But I do always try. I value my marriage, and I'm willing to do the intentional things to keep it healthy and vibrant.

One thing that Jeff and I have been better about is intentional time together. This afternoon, we will be heading out of Richmond for 2 nights of alone time. The rules are as follows: no schedules, no alarm clocks, and no talk about the kids. Simple.
And we're good at it :)

I love my husband. I love my kids too, but let's face it... without my husband, I woudln't have the blessings of those two kiddos. I will always put him first, submit to him (because that's biblical ladies, and he is doing his part in that biblical equation too) , and honor him. And I'll ALWAYS be willing to get away for a couple of nights to celebrate this gift of marriage that God has given us!

So... go get your spouse. Get out your calendars, and carve out some intentional time for your marriage as well. I promise it will be worth it!
PS. Special thanks to my incredible mother-in-love for taking care of our kids so we can do this getaway! Love you Joann!

4 comments:

E.faeth.adopt said...

hey, fellow KY'ian!! missed seeing your posts. glad to see you posting again.

what you wrote was well written. marriage is the rock, the anchor, the force that allows everything within it to fall into place. the domino affect of a well oiled commitment : ) it does take both to agree, and try each day to uphold ones effort. each day is a learning eaperience which just makes the marriage that much stronger. love and forgiveness. communication and coming to understand our own selves is important.

very good post. have a great time away together!!!

Kimmie said...

and have an intentionally wonderful time...hope you are both refreshed and blessed.

xoxo
Kimmie
mama to 8
one homemade and 7 adopted

Lydia said...

sorry, but I must say the comment in red made me laugh a little...

So, your book is coming out when again????

Thanks, Holly, for doing this. I hope you guys have had an amazing time away together!

Love you!
Lydia

Jo Ann said...

We are so proud of your life together. It is a good example for your children and all those with whom you are in contact. We love you both very much!