Intentional Marriage

For several months now, I've felt the need to pray fervently for the health and safety of my marriage. Some of this is because I've watched the marriages of several around me struggle, and I don't want to allow Satan to get a foothold in my own. Some of this is simply because it's an absolute honor to pray for Jeff and our marriage.

When we took vows, 17 1/2 years ago now, we promised to always put God first, then each other second. And what I'm realizing is that in order to fulfill those vows in today's world, you have to be willing to have what I call an "intentional marriage".

What I mean by that is this: purposely sacrificing my needs for his, purposely making what I know he will prefer for dinner when I know he's had a long day- even when it's not what I had originally planned, purposely getting Ellie and Bryan involved in some activity or chore before he gets home from work so that he can have time to himself for a few minutes- especially when I know it's been a long day, purposely carving out time to pray for Jeff, his ministry and his leadership in our family. I'm not always good at this; please don't think that. But I do always try. I value my marriage, and I'm willing to do the intentional things to keep it healthy and vibrant.

One thing that Jeff and I have been better about is intentional time together. This afternoon, we will be heading out of Richmond for 2 nights of alone time. The rules are as follows: no schedules, no alarm clocks, and no talk about the kids. Simple.

And we're good at it :)

I love my husband. I love my kids too, but let's face it... without my husband, I woudln't have the blessings of those two kiddos. I will always put him first, submit to him (because that's biblical ladies, and he is doing his part in that biblical equation too) , and honor him. And I'll ALWAYS be willing to get away for a couple of nights to celebrate this gift of marriage that God has given us!

So... go get your spouse. Get out your calendars, and carve out some intentional time for your marriage as well. I promise it will be worth it!

PS. Special thanks to my incredible mother-in-love for taking care of our kids so we can do this getaway! Love you Joann!

Happy 17th!

17 years ago right now, I was getting ready to go to bed for the last night as Holly Johnson. There were a million thoughts running through my mind... what if I fell walking down the aisle at the wedding? What if he said "No"? (Not a chance!)What if I didn't know how to be a wife? (does anyone ever know that at the beginning?) What if I don't like sharing a bed with someone? What if he snores? What if I snore?

But I can tell you that one question that never crossed my mind was "What if it doesn't last?" I knew without a doubt that it would last until death. That was part of the deal. This was not something we were going into without much prayer and thought. We were committed.. not only to one another, but mostly to God. We made a promise that the "d" word would never enter our home, and it hasn't. We've never uttered that word to each other, not even in jest. There's no place for it here.

Seventeen years later, we are still honeymooning. We are still head over heels in love, just like we were on August 7th, 1993. We're both a bit grayer. We're wiser than we were (thank you Lord!). But we are CRAZY in love!

So, in honor of 17 precious years together, here's a list of 17 things that I love about my man and our marriage.

1. After 17 years, he still gives me butterflies when he kisses me!
2. He still opens all the doors for me
3. I still love the way he serves me.
4. I still love love love serving him!
5. We still date. And often!
6. He still kisses me first when he comes home.
7. He tells me I'm beautiful, and he means it.
8. I believe I'm beautiful because God said it, but I love hearing it from Jeff!
9. We're coffee snobs with cool mugs.
10. Our kids are fantastic and bring us much joy and satisfaction.
11. We worship together.
12. We share our dreams and hopes together.
13. My favorite spot in the world is right next to him.
14. We have plans for the future that excite me!
15. We are passionate about helping to combat poverty around the world.
16. We have a marriage worthy of bragging rights. I'm proud of us.
17. God is now, and has always been, the center of our marriage. That's why we work.

Folks, I don't kid around about this. I know too many people with marriages that are broken or hurting. It breaks my heart that not everyone can share the kind of love and joy we have here. But it's not because Jeff and I are so special. It's because GOD IS. Without Him, we're just two people trying to make it. With Him in the center, we can't fail.

I love you Jeff. I love doing life together. I love waking up and knowing you'll be right there beside me that night again. I love knowing that you love God more than me, and I love loving Him more than I do you. It's what makes us tick, and we tick rather well! You are my best friend, my love, the one who calms me, makes me laugh til I cry, the one I want beside me forever.

I'll love you forever,
Bird~

Happy Valentine's Day...

not just today, but every day of every year. I'll be yours forever.

Your rugged good looks still turn me on.
Your compassion for others still makes me want to do more.
Your love for God is contagious.
Your leadership in our home is incredible.
Your integrity is unmatched.
You still make my liver quiver!

I love you... forever and ever and ever...

Love, Bird~

Could I Ask For More?

This week, people will run wild trying to find that perfect gift to prove to their loved one just how much they mean to them. Card sales will sky-rocket. Chocolate sales will be through the roof, and don't even get me started on the price of a dozen roses. Yes, this week is Valentine's Day, that one special day we set aside to tell that special someone that we love him or her.

Jeff and I are not buying gifts for each other. Don't get me wrong; we love each other. Oh, let me tell ya. There is a whole lotta lovin' in this house! But we decided that we didn't need to use the debit card to show it. We are writing letters to each other for Valentine's Day (Jeff, that's your reminder in case you have forgotten!:))

Today, I heard someone talking about their spouse, and it made me sad. I didn't hear a lot of joy. I didn't hear any excitement about the relationship. I didn't hear trust or friendship or commitment. What I heard sounded like "I'm stuck with this person for the rest of my life". My heart broke because of that.

I can tell you that my love for Jeff today is stronger than it has ever been. I can tell you that he has become the closest friend and supporter I have ever known. I can tell you that he knows my needs before I speak them, and better yet, he tries to meet those needs! I can tell you that he recognizes when I am struggling with a bad day sometimes before I even know why I am upset. His voice reassures me.

He still opens the door for me EVERY SINGLE TIME WE GO SOMEWHERE! He still holds my hand, just because. He still puts his arm around me and pulls me close. He still winks at me sometimes when he is up front in church. He still kisses me first when he comes home in the evenings.

I still get butterflies when I see him walk in the room. I still get that goofy grin in the middle of the day when I think about him. I still love it when he calls me "Bird".

No doubt about it, I am one blessed woman. Could I ever ask for more? Jeff, you have truly colored my world. I'll be your Valentine this year, and forever.

I hate to brag....

But my husband happens to be the best ever!

This weekend we went away for a little R & R together.
Just the 2 of us.

cost of B&B room..... worth every dime
money spent shopping....... $1.60 (seriously)
the fact that he planned it all..... PRICELESS!

Check out Jeff's blog here for some pics that he posted of the weekend.

It was cold and rainy, but who cares? We were in a gorgeous place together. No phones. No cell phone reception. No TV! (yes, he gave up the tv on Master's weekend)

Jeff, I love you so much. Thanks for the beautiful weekend. It was one of the best of my life. You are an amazing husband to me. Thanks for loving me like you do. (And thanks for letting me win that game of trivia at BW3's). You have given me everything in this life that I have ever wanted and so much more. I am honored to be your wife. Let's do this more often!

Love, Bird