Sunday, November 16, 2008

Special Delivery

This week has been hard for me. Maybe it's the holidays coming upon us so quickly. Maybe it's the cooler weather. Maybe it's just me. I don't know the "why" but I know that I have been missing Ellie this week. It's strange to miss someone you have never met. But, you see, I already love her. She is already a part of our family, in our hearts. We already refer to her as ours. We just need to know who she is and bring her home!

I had hoped and prayed that we would have her here with us by Christmas this year. Obviously, that is not going to happen. And that's okay. Our prayers have been for God to bring her to us in His timing, which we trust is perfect. But still... how I wish she were here.

I've done some Christmas shopping, wishing that she were here to see the lights and hear the music. I've wished that she were here to take to visit Santa. I've wished she were here to see all of the families at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I've wished she were here to tell the Christmas story to so that she will hear of the miracle of Christmas.

As I have had these wishes, I have prayed so much for her. I've prayed protection over her from illness, from poverty and not enough food to eat. I've prayed for her heart that may be breaking as her mother chooses an adoption plan in the ultimate sacrifice to save her precious girl's life. I've prayed for that mother, whose heart must be breaking to make such a decision. I pray that I am worthy of her trust.

I'll admit that I have questioned whether God has heard my prayers. There have been no new girls listed on our agency site, and that is disheartening. My humanness has led me to question at times "Will this fall apart again like Vietnam?". And once again, God has answered my prayers perfectly.

Yesterday, Jeff went out to get the mail. In the box, he found a small package that held a child's t-shirt. On that shirt were the words "Special Delivery from Ethiopia". It was as if God Himself were saying to us "She is on the way. I am bringing Ellie to you. Just be patient. Trust my plan".

I do trust His plan.

Ellie, we can't wait to meet you. We can't wait for that moment when we get to see your sweet face and know that you were chosen for us. We can't wait to hold you, kiss you, and bring you to your forever home. We're coming, baby girl. Just be patient, and trust His plan.


Robo said...

Long time, no Blog .

Isn't it good to know that we are not responsible for time, because then we would take everything given to us for granted .

Can't wait to meet Ellie !!

Good to see you guys yesterday :)

CHRISTY said...

Oh Holly, I can SO relate to your feelings of missing your girl. It seems odd to others, but they are our children- already born in our hearts. Hang in there sister! I know it's so hard! I was just tearing up at an empty crib last night. But, just like you I am resting in the fact that we have a perfect savior who holds time in his grip. Praying for y'all!

Chris said...

I've known HIM for a long time and a few things I do know, still learning on others.

1) He's got the whole world in His hands--including Ethiopia
2) I have yet to see anything take GOD by surprise. have a friend that describes it this way....we sometime feel like we're in a maze, but GOD is looking from above and knows where every turn, wall, or dead end is. Continue to walk in faith. Love ya, Chris

Jo Ann said...

I know that sometimes it seems like time stand still but I'm so thankful that God is showing you each step of the way that He is behind this adoption. I know that each time you have felt "down", He has lifted you up by showing you that He wants this for your family and for Ellie. I can hardly wait for her to come home because I miss her too. Mom

Rebecca Caldwell said...

Hi Holly,
I feel your pain, totally! And yet, in that pain, over and over again, God has revealed so much to us, and one of those things is just how much he loves us, even though sometimes the current circumstances seem to test our faith in ways that we feel we can't bear at times. I have been thinking a lot about how we cope if we don't pass court again and Caleb is not here for Christmas...I know it will be tough....Hang in there Holly! We are praying for you guys!