A letter to my children...

This week at work, I overheard a conversation between a mother and her two children, in which she told them "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Don't worry, kids. Mom can make you happy no matter what. Let's go to Walmart, then McDonalds". My heart was broken from that conversation. There is NOTHING at Walmart or McDonalds that will ever bring about lasting joy. Happiness if temporary sweet friend. Anyway, all of that led me to spend some time thinking about what it is that I have taught my children that I desperately want for them. So, here it is...

Dear Bryan & Ellie,

You may find it hard to believe what I'm about to write here, but please hear me out before you freak out!

As your mom, I have many things that I want and pray for in your lives. But, I do NOT want you to be happy. (I told you it would be surprising; hear me out here!)

For the past year or so, God has really been dealing with me on this, the idea of being happy in life. And the more I've learned, the more I want to pass along to you, my legacy. You see kids, happiness is something that is determined by your situation in life. It's fleeting, to say the least. I'm happy when I get a good buy on a sweet purse. But a purse will never change my life. I'm happy when you pick up your toys or dirty clothes. But when you don't, where does that leave me? Happiness is a great thing, don't get me wrong; it feels good. Real good. But when I think of what it is that I want most for your lives, it's just not there.

I've watched both of you experience happiness. Bryan, you are happy when you get a drum beat down or when you get the "okay" on having a band practice here at the house. But what about those days that we can't have your friends over, or the beat is too hard to perfect in one practice session. What do you feel then? Ellie, you are happy when you are getting beads in your hair or getting a book read to you. But what about the times we have to tell you "no" about the book or whatever it is you want to play? Will your happiness fade with each "no" you get in life?

Really kids, it's not that I don't ever want you to experience happiness; it's just that it's not my goal for you to be happy all of your lives. And I don't want it to be your goal either. I never want to watch you spend your life chasing after something that is always contingent on your surroundings. Because let me tell you, your surroundings will change all the time, from year to year, week to week, day to day, and moment to moment.

So, what DO I want for you?? Well, for one thing, I want you to be CONTENT.

Contentment is so much better than happiness, kids. Seriously better. Contentment is that crazy thing that makes us still smile, even though we didn't get our way, didn't get a raise (in allowance or at work), didn't finish a project when we had hoped, when a friend treats us not-so-friendly, when we have to do homework instead of play, when we can't go out to eat because we are doing the Dave Ramsey thing. Contentment comes from within. And within those of us who have a relationship with Christ, the Spirit of God is living in us. THAT is what gives contentment kids.

In Scripture, Paul went through some tough times... some would say horrible times. Yet, he said this.. "I've have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want". (Phil 4:11b-12)

That is what I want for you kids. I want you to be at peace with your Father, no matter what the world is throwing your way. There will be times in your life when everything you touch works well. And sadly, there will be times when nothing seems to go your way. Yet God is always the same, always with you, always loving you, always forgiving. That gives contentment. My prayer is that you learn to grasp that in your lives.

Contentment leads to spiritual maturity, I do believe. It helps us to realize the blessings of our lives. It is never going to be the materialistic things in life that give you peace, joy and fulfillment. Only God can bring about lasting contentment. I pray you are able to find it. Life is one heck of a ride, kids! Make each moment count!

I love you,
Mom~

Tough Day...

Today we were in Louisville attending two funerals. The first was for the twin sons of my cousin Misti and her husband Steve. I really can't even hardly stand to write that here. Seeing that tiny casket shook me up. It's heartbreaking, and I can only imagine what they must be feeling as the parents. Please pray for them as they try to figure out what life looks like now without these two sons.

The second funeral was for the best friend of my dad. I don't ever remember not knowing Ronnie. He and my dad worked together, and they hunted together. He was a funny guy, a "striking" and "imposing" guy (as the priest put it today at his service), and he was always smiling as I recall. But my favorite thing about Ronnie when I was a little girl was that he looked EXACTLY like Kenny Rogers. Seriously. If you look at the album cover for Kenny's "42 Greatest Hits", you will see Ronnie. And if you know me at all, you know i love Kenny. His service was beautiful, and it was heartbreaking. There is something about seeing my dad hurting that just tears me up!

All of this has got me thinking tonight about life and death and more importantly about my legacy. What is it that I want to leave behind when I am no longer here? What do I want the people who sit at my funeral service to remember? What am I doing now to make that happen? Am I living a life of intentional relationships? Am I loving as much as I can? Am I serving others? Does my son know that he is loved deeply by his momma? Does my husband know that I can't imagine doing life without him? Does my family know how much I love them? Do people around me know that I am 100% head over heels in love with Jesus?

When it's all over, and I take my last breath, it really won't matter if I have a lot of money, a job of high importance, a spotless house, or if I was a lousy cook. What will matter is that my Heavenly Father will look at me and say "well done, my good and faithful servant". I want to live now with that eternal perspective.

I don't write all of this to be "gloom and doom". I write because death is a fact of life. It's not something we necessarily like to talk about, but it happens. Death is no respecter of person. Grief is as natural as joy. But as a follower of Christ, I can grieve with hope. I serve a God who has overcome death and the grave. I don't have to fear death. In fact, I can embrace it and celebrate it because it means a great reunion with those who have gone on before, and ultimately it means seeing my Savior face to face! And THAT is a beautiful thing!