confession

In my quiet time this morning, I said to God "I really want to live like you today". I thought I meant it when I said it. But God wasn't so sure. He wouldn't allow me to say anything else. Literally, He made me shut up (again). As I walked into my office, I felt out of sorts, awkward. I couldn't quite explain it. I sat at my desk, and said to God, "What?". And that's when He hit me. He said to me quite plainly "You don't really know what it means to live like I live. I want you to. I will show you. I will remind you of scripture. But it's gonna hurt to do it".

He was right. He always is.

What He reminded me of was how often I waste. I waste time, energy, efforts, money, resources, etc. You name it, I can waste it. Specifically, I waste a lot of opportunity to get to know people. I hide a lot, keeping just far enough away from people so that I don't have to get personal with them. And that's not how Jesus lived on earth. Not at all! To be like Him, I have to be willing to know people. I have to be intentional in my relationships.

Jesus didn't waste a day. So, I asked myself: What will I do with my days? Will I use them for good, or will I squander them away? Will I really love those I come in contact with, or will I approach them with disinterest. When I meet with a client at work, do I genuinely love them, or am I only interested in getting the job done and moving to the next client. For that matter, are they just a client, or do I see the person with feelings, needs, desires, and purpose? Am I trying to KNOW people, or am I trying to convert people?

Proverbs 3:27 says "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act". That reminds me of a line from my favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption. In one scene Andy (Tim Robbins) says "get busy livin', or get busy dying". That's true. To LIVE as Christ, is to never withhold good from others when it is in our power to do so. To LIVE as Christ is to always be intentional in my relationships. To LIVE as Christ is to put others' needs ahead of my own. To LIVE as Christ is to die to myself.

Today has been hard because He is humbling me. I have lost my temper today, literally cussed the lawn mower, assumed the worst about people, and over all acted like a fool. But yet, God has surrounded me, whispering in my ear every minute, "I am here. I will mold you to be like me if you allow it. I told you it was going to be hard. But I will not leave you alone".

My response: "Let's get busy living"