Sunday, January 17, 2010

Heartbreak and the Truth...

A few nights ago, Ellie & I made a quick stop in the grocery store for some milk (she has decided that she now really REALLY loves chocolate milk). It was getting late, and we were in a hurry, and thankfully there were no lines in the store. We were having a great girls' night out actually.

As we headed up toward the check-out, we passed a man and his two daughters, one of whom looked to be close in age to Ellie. That little cutie stared at Ellie as if she were from outer space. She then announced to her dad "Hey look daddy, it's a monkey!". I have to admit it took me off guard, but my first thought was "this is a great teaching moment for that dad. I hope he steps up to the plate".

He didn't.

He didn't even come close.

That man looked his daughter in the face, then looked me in the face, then back to his daughter. And then he proceeded to tell that sweet liitle girl that Ellie was not a monkey, but something more vicious than I could ever imagine another human saying. He called her horrible things. He actually said several horrible things to me about Ellie (and about me, too). I was in utter shock, but only for a second. In an instant, my claws came out. I was ready to pounce. I was ready to kill this man!

But my eyes could only go to his sweet little girl, standing there taking it all in. To be honest, Ellie was oblivious to it all. This child with her daddy was watching and hearing the venom pour from his lips. Her eyes were as large as half dollars as she watched him nearly convulse with repulsion at my child. I wonder what was going through her mind. I wonder if she was wondering when it was going to stop this time. I wonder if she was already dreading the lecture she would surely get in the car on the way home about how she is never to talk to those kind of people again.

My heart aches for that little girl that I cannot get out of my head. My heart aches that she is going to miss out on so many wonderful relationships in this world because of the color of their skin. My heart aches most because she is missing out on a relationship with her own father because of his hatred for others. He was so consumed with hatred for my daughter's face that he failed to see the hurt on his daughter's face. I can't stop thinking of that.

Scripture tells us this: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:13-16

The truth is that both Ellie and that little girl are fearfully and wonderfully made. God was intricately involved in every detail of them both. And you know, that little girl's dad, who was so vulgar and inhumane towards us, was also knit together in his mother's womb by the God of the universe. As hurtful for me as it was to hear him say those awful things, how much more must it break the heart of God to hear one that He loves so specifically and so perfectly act that way toward another of his creations. I'm broken over the thought of that tonight!

Ellie will grow knowing that she is loved and adored, both here on earth and by her Heavenly Father as well. She will never have to long to be noticed, never have to wonder if she messed up too much to be loved still. But that other little girl... I fear that she will worry over these things all of her life. Oh God, please protect her from the evil around her today. Protect her heart, Lord. Keep her thoughts pure, despite insurmountable obstacles to that. send someone in her life that will teach her the TRUTH, about her and those around her.

15 comments:

JT and Natalie said...

Holly~
Both JT and I read this and our hearts are broken. How unbelievable in today's world that this still happens. Starting medical school anatomy was the pure evidence of skin color....in anatomy lab, I learned sking is less than 2mm deep. That is it. I can't imagine damaging the heart of a little one over something as mere as skin color. My stomach churns and I have not even brought a child home. I will keep you guys and the other family in my prayers. Love you.

Missy said...

This just disgusts me....I can't believe this horrible man and his poor, poor children. I am amazed you were able to keep your calm. (I probably would have ended up getting arrested...lol!) Bless you for being such a good Mommy to sweet Ellie. And we all need to pray for that "man"'s daughters. Growing up in a house with him, they surely need all the help they can get....

Katie Frances' Family said...

I am so shocked and angry and sad about this. I hope your daughter will not encounter much of this hateful ignorance in her life. Unfortunately for the other child, she will be exposed to it all the time since it's her father. I am on the waiting list for an Ethiopian infant. I know there is prejudice that we will deal with, but I didn't expect this degree of hatred and ignorance. I'm so sorry - God bless you and Ellie.

Bird's Words said...

thank you for all the kind words. Katie, congrats on being on the wait list yourself! We are thrilled beyond words to have Ellie in our home! She fits just perfectly!
And Missy, for a minute there, I thought I might go to jail too!! HA!

Jo Ann said...

I'm so proud of the way that you handled this situation. Ellie has touched the lives of so many people since she has been home and she will continue to do that forever. And, I do believe that God used you and Ellie to plant a seed in the hearts of those two little girls and, prayerfully, in their father. I love you!!!

Katie Frances' Family said...

Thank you - Sorry, I should have clarified - I'm Laura. My bio daughter (20 mos) is Katie. We got the blog name and then never went further, so my comments are under the blog name. Anyways, you're an inspiration!

Laura

Connie said...

I wandered over here from Kimmie's blog and wow! what a story. It is sad to think that in this day and age, people can still be so ignorant and hateful! Especially coming from a man with a child of the same age. You are brave, patient and kind, to have reacted (or not reacted) the way you did. Ellie is a beautiful little girl - what a SMILE! - I am so happy that she has you for a mom!

PawPrint said...

I can't believe this. While I was reading this, it just disgusts me what people think is okay and not okay to say. This has happened to me because of my size, people make so many comments on me being short. It's just amazing how ignorant people are these days.

Kimmie said...

I am pretty sure Holly that ignorance is more than 2 mm deep...way deeper. Unfortunately, that man learned his hatred probably when he was a child. Really the hatred stems from fear. And you KNOW who is behind fear right.(fear always comes from satan...for those of you who don't know.)

May that man's daughter be taught that people are hand wrapped by God in whatever skin color He chooses. Each color is special in His eyes, each little *gift* handmade, wrapped and sent into the world from the Father. He (God) doesn't pick His favorite wrapping color, He made so many different colors, shapes and sizes because they all bring Him joy...I pray God breaks the cycle in her heart and that LOVE conquers that ugly hatred her father is trying to teach her. It's not too late for him either, as God sometimes chooses to *enlighten* those who walk in darkness. ;-)

Sending a hug.

Love conquers...Love wins over evil (hatred/ignorance) all-ways.

Kimmie
mama to 7
one homemade and 6 adopted
*expecting again from Ethiopia

日本的夢想 said...

卡爾.桑得柏:「除非先有夢,否則一切皆不成。」共勉! ....................................................

Brownie said...

hi.

I was on my blog and just hit "next blog" and yours popped up! I'm glad it did.

I read your entry and was appalled at what the man must have been saying. I was trying to imagine what disfiguring disability your daughter had and scrolled down to find pictures.

OH! I can't imagine anyone saying anything negative about such a sweet child! I can't imagine that anyone would think it was okay to say such things!

On the off chance that it ever occurs again - I'd practice some lines for a retort. The nice lines take practice... the bitter retorts come easily. :)

Tracy said...

wow--- yuck--- thank you for sharing that Holly and I know you handled it with way more grace and love than you even shared--- that little girl will never forget her encounter with precious, chosen and anointed Ellie! Her smile will keep on overcoming evil with good all over town!

Vbseo-tr said...

I wandered over here from Kimmie's blog and wow! what a story. It is sad to think that in this day and age, people can still be so ignorant and hateful

Chris and Terri said...

This world has come so far and yet, we have so far to go. It's people like you that change the world because in a completely awful situation, you see the pain of another and pray for her. God Bless.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Wow. Just wow. Wow to the man, wow to your reaction.

I pray I have the same godly response as you did when we are confronted with this, as I know we will be.

As opposed to racking him and then gouging his eyeballs out. That wouldn't be setting a good example. Nope.