Heartbreak and the Truth...

A few nights ago, Ellie & I made a quick stop in the grocery store for some milk (she has decided that she now really REALLY loves chocolate milk). It was getting late, and we were in a hurry, and thankfully there were no lines in the store. We were having a great girls' night out actually.

As we headed up toward the check-out, we passed a man and his two daughters, one of whom looked to be close in age to Ellie. That little cutie stared at Ellie as if she were from outer space. She then announced to her dad "Hey look daddy, it's a monkey!". I have to admit it took me off guard, but my first thought was "this is a great teaching moment for that dad. I hope he steps up to the plate".

He didn't.

He didn't even come close.

That man looked his daughter in the face, then looked me in the face, then back to his daughter. And then he proceeded to tell that sweet liitle girl that Ellie was not a monkey, but something more vicious than I could ever imagine another human saying. He called her horrible things. He actually said several horrible things to me about Ellie (and about me, too). I was in utter shock, but only for a second. In an instant, my claws came out. I was ready to pounce. I was ready to kill this man!

But my eyes could only go to his sweet little girl, standing there taking it all in. To be honest, Ellie was oblivious to it all. This child with her daddy was watching and hearing the venom pour from his lips. Her eyes were as large as half dollars as she watched him nearly convulse with repulsion at my child. I wonder what was going through her mind. I wonder if she was wondering when it was going to stop this time. I wonder if she was already dreading the lecture she would surely get in the car on the way home about how she is never to talk to those kind of people again.

My heart aches for that little girl that I cannot get out of my head. My heart aches that she is going to miss out on so many wonderful relationships in this world because of the color of their skin. My heart aches most because she is missing out on a relationship with her own father because of his hatred for others. He was so consumed with hatred for my daughter's face that he failed to see the hurt on his daughter's face. I can't stop thinking of that.

Scripture tells us this: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:13-16

The truth is that both Ellie and that little girl are fearfully and wonderfully made. God was intricately involved in every detail of them both. And you know, that little girl's dad, who was so vulgar and inhumane towards us, was also knit together in his mother's womb by the God of the universe. As hurtful for me as it was to hear him say those awful things, how much more must it break the heart of God to hear one that He loves so specifically and so perfectly act that way toward another of his creations. I'm broken over the thought of that tonight!

Ellie will grow knowing that she is loved and adored, both here on earth and by her Heavenly Father as well. She will never have to long to be noticed, never have to wonder if she messed up too much to be loved still. But that other little girl... I fear that she will worry over these things all of her life. Oh God, please protect her from the evil around her today. Protect her heart, Lord. Keep her thoughts pure, despite insurmountable obstacles to that. send someone in her life that will teach her the TRUTH, about her and those around her.

snow days...

We got our first real snow since Ellie has been with us. There wasn't enough to sled in (bummer), and it was really too cold to stay out for very long (about 12 degrees, I think). But we HAD to go out for a little while at least. Here are a couple pics of me and the kids. Jeff, unfortunately was inside with a nasty case of shingles (bigger bummer than the amount of snow we got!)

Merry Christmas...

or should I say MELKAM GENA (Amharic)

In Ethiopia, Christmas is celebrated on January 7th. So, tomorrow we will read the Christmas story from the Bible again to Ellie and spend time celebrating the reason there is a Christmas at all!

Why don't you celebrate with us?


On a side note... it looks like we'll have a white Christmas after all!

What a month!

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Wow... the month of December has flown by! I can hardly believe we are about to embark upon 2010. This has been a month full of fun and celebration.

We started the month off by celebrating Ellie's 3rd birthday! Ellie had her first party at her babysitter's house.. loads of fun was had!! Then we had some family and friends to our house that weekend for another birthday party. Ellie's only requests for the day were that Jeff and I wear pajamas with her, that there were balloons in the house and that she have flowers. So... we did just that. We were in pjs (very comfy, I might add), and the house was filled with balloons. A dozen pink roses were on the table for Ellie. she was in awe of it all. In lieu of gifts, we asked that anyone who wanted to, give a donation to Ellie's former orphanage instead. We are THRILLED to announce that the children of Ammanuel Orphanage in Woliso, Ethiopia will soon be getting $200 worth of food their way! we are so excited to be able to do even this small thing for the place that gave life to our sweet girl!

helping mommy make cupcakes for her party at Mrs. Lisa's!

I am constantly amazed at this child! God has reshaped her in so many ways, yet there is still the innocence, excitement and wonder that was there when we first met her just a few months ago. I am so thankful that God entrusted us to parent her, and I cannot wait to celebrate more and more birthdays with her in the years to come!

My birthday was also this month, and Jeff and I got away for our first date night since bringing Ellie home. Let me just say.. I love my kids, but getting away with Jeff was more than wonderful! Thank you Jeff, for being my partner, my best friend, my hero! I love you!

And finally, we get to Christmas. I had forgotten how much fun it is to have a 3 year old in the house at Christmas time! Ellie has had a blast watching all of the festivities! She loves the trees, the decorations, the lights (she LOVED Southern Lights!). She has had fun making her own ornaments for the first time this year. She has relished in learning the Christmas carols (much to Bryan's dismay, I might add). But, she has truly understood that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. We woke on Christmas morning to her singing in her room "Happy Birthday to you" to Jesus. How sweet is that?? It was the perfect reminder of why we celebrate.

My family is my gift, this year and every year. So, I've decided not to post any of our Christmas pics here right now. Instead, I want to take some time to tell them what they mean to me.

Jeff, you are my hero. In every sense of the word, that's exactly what you are. You have made all of my dreams come true.. even those that I was afraid to speak aloud for a long time. You are a dream come true to me. Every day, it is a privilege and an honor to wake beside you, walk through each day with you, and end each day knowing that no matter what happened that day, you are still my number one encourager and fan. You know exactly how to make me laugh, and you know just when I need you to be silent. You are such a Godly man.. an example to me and to our children of sacrificial love. I am so thankful that God placed us together in this life. I can't imagine doing it without you by my side every day! It's my life's greatest honor to call you my husband. I love you forever.

Bryan.. you are my son, my firstborn (my only-born, as you say). You have always brought to me so much joy, and you still do. Nothing makes my day quite so much as you giving me a hug or a kiss for no apparent reason at all. I love that you still kiss me in public and that you aren't afraid to say that you love me. I have loved watching you become a young man. I dream about the man you will one day be; I can only imagine that you will be fabulous! It is an honor to watch you mature, to watch you wrestle out the rights and wrongs, to walk alongside you and encourage you in the faith. I want you to know that I never felt incomplete when you were an only child; you have always been enough for me, and if we had never had more children, I would have always known I was the most blessed mom in the world. Don't for a minute ever think that bringing Ellie home means that you were less than special. Our family is not whole without you.. no doubt! You bring light and joy to my heart every day. You taught me how to be a mom; you've given me grace when I stunk at it too! I love being your mom, Bryan. I love you.

Ellie, you are such a joy. You've shown me a perfect picture of what God's redemptive love looks like. The lessons I am learning through your life seem never ending. You are such a miracle. I never believed that I could be so blessed as to parent two children who were so incredible! I am so thankful that God chose you for us! Being your mommy is such a joy! I am loving painting nails, playing dress up, learning how to do hair, shopping for jewelry and clothes, and shoes shoes shoes! I love that you are a girly girl. Always keep that!! I love your spirit. i love your spunk. I want you to know that this is your forever home, and you will always be safe and secure here. You will always have plenty to eat, and you will always know the touch and sound of love in this home. You never have to wonder again if you are wanted; here, you are always wanted and always loved, Ellie! You are an answer to a very special prayer I prayed many years ago. To see you as the culmination of all of those prayers just makes me tear up and puts chills down my spine! I love you as if I had carried you in my womb, and although I know I didn't do that, I did carry you in my heart. You light up my day when you smile and say "I lub you mommy". I'm so happy you are finally home, sweet girl.

I can only imagine what 2010 has in store...

Styling sunday....sort of

Well, Christmas Eve wasn't on a Sunday, but my girl was stylin' nonetheless.

Styling Sunday 4

Styling Sunday 3

Hair, courtesy of Deniece Bell... my hero!! love you girl! Gotta give props where they are due!