Today we were in Louisville attending two funerals. The first was for the twin sons of my cousin Misti and her husband Steve. I really can't even hardly stand to write that here. Seeing that tiny casket shook me up. It's heartbreaking, and I can only imagine what they must be feeling as the parents. Please pray for them as they try to figure out what life looks like now without these two sons.
The second funeral was for the best friend of my dad. I don't ever remember not knowing Ronnie. He and my dad worked together, and they hunted together. He was a funny guy, a "striking" and "imposing" guy (as the priest put it today at his service), and he was always smiling as I recall. But my favorite thing about Ronnie when I was a little girl was that he looked EXACTLY like Kenny Rogers. Seriously. If you look at the album cover for Kenny's "42 Greatest Hits", you will see Ronnie. And if you know me at all, you know i love Kenny. His service was beautiful, and it was heartbreaking. There is something about seeing my dad hurting that just tears me up!
All of this has got me thinking tonight about life and death and more importantly about my legacy. What is it that I want to leave behind when I am no longer here? What do I want the people who sit at my funeral service to remember? What am I doing now to make that happen? Am I living a life of intentional relationships? Am I loving as much as I can? Am I serving others? Does my son know that he is loved deeply by his momma? Does my husband know that I can't imagine doing life without him? Does my family know how much I love them? Do people around me know that I am 100% head over heels in love with Jesus?
When it's all over, and I take my last breath, it really won't matter if I have a lot of money, a job of high importance, a spotless house, or if I was a lousy cook. What will matter is that my Heavenly Father will look at me and say "well done, my good and faithful servant". I want to live now with that eternal perspective.
I don't write all of this to be "gloom and doom". I write because death is a fact of life. It's not something we necessarily like to talk about, but it happens. Death is no respecter of person. Grief is as natural as joy. But as a follower of Christ, I can grieve with hope. I serve a God who has overcome death and the grave. I don't have to fear death. In fact, I can embrace it and celebrate it because it means a great reunion with those who have gone on before, and ultimately it means seeing my Savior face to face! And THAT is a beautiful thing!