Mommy's Girl...

People ask all the time how things are going with Ellie. I always answer the same way.. it's going great. And overall, it is. She's learning so much, so quickly. It's really quite amazing to watch! but it's not all easy, and if truth be told, there are times that it's just downright hard to handle! The emotions, the unknowns, the language barriers.. it's all hard sometimes. It's worth it, no doubt! but it's still hard!

Tonight while giving Ellie a bath, I was overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. I won't share all of the details because that's her story and I'm not gonna share it here. But I will tell you that Ellie told me about a horrible experience in her life tonight, in as much detail as she can in her part English-part Amharic, two year old vocabulary.

Initially I was angry. I called Jeff in and she told him the same story. We know it's true. We've known about it for a while. But she has never said it herself to us until now. We were both overcome with feelings of wanting to hurt someone, to take revenge. I wanted to lash out at someone at the injustice that has happened in her short little life.

But the other part of me was grateful. Tonight was proof that we are making progress in our bonding. Ellie trusts us enough to not only be goofy and silly and sing fun songs with us. She trusts us enough to share her hurts. That's what family is all about! Isn't that we all long for with our children- for them to be comfortable enough with us to tell us everything? That's exactly what happened here tonight.. right in my jacuzzi tub with soap suds all over her fuzzy little head.

Tonight's conversation also made me see once more just how much I love this little girl. No, I didn't give birth to her like you normally think of mothers and babies. But I gave birth to her in my heart, and tonight that bond was solidified even further, as she entrusted to me what is likely her biggest hurt in life. She didn't want me to fix it; it's already fixed. She just wanted me to know. And as I picked her up out of that tub, she put her arms around my neck and kissed my cheeks so sweetly (she kisses both of them, always!).

For a moment, time stood still. There was no hurt, no worries, no unknowns in her past, no uncertainties. There was just a mommy and her little girl, sharing a sudsy kiss. It was just the way God intended it to be. It was pure, peaceful.

It was perfect.

Thank you Lord, for the gift of my daughter.. my sweet little girl.

Here's the latest video of what Ellie has been learning.. check it out!

And Sue, there's a special message for you at the end! She loves you so much!

Bringing Ellie Home: the video

Here's a great video Jeff put together of moments from our trip to Ethiopia. Get your Kleenex and enjoy the show....

Ethiopia: Day 1 continued

MEETING ELLIE

After our trip to Woliso, we were finally back at the Transition House to meet Ellie. This was the moment we had been waiting for all this time. I was a nut!! I was nervous and excited all at once, not sure of how she would respond to us. It was all surreal, to be honest.

We entered the Transition House, where Ellie had been living since early June. We were greeted by several children, excited to see us come in. I kept looking for that sweet little face I've memorized in pictures for the past 8 months. But I couldn't find her.

We walked through different rooms, and then we entered this tiny little dining room with little tiny tables. The staff were serving lunch, and a few kids were already seated and ready to eat. Ellie was sitting there, smaller than I ever had imagined and more beautiful that I could have ever dreamed.

Sue spoke to her to tell her that her Mommy and Daddy were here. She was shy, but she looked up to see us briefly. Then, her attention was back on her lunch (After seeing her eat for the past 2 weeks, I understand that!). We knelt down to talk to her, but she was so shy. It was obvious that she wasn't going to eat with us staring at her either, so we took a tour of the rest of the house to let her finish her lunch.

I'm glad that Jeff was videoing the house because honestly I can't remember any of it. I just wanted to hold my little girl! I couldn't wait to get back downstairs! We went from room to room, meeting other babies that will soon be going home. We also met some workers, but mostly, we were killing time to get to our Ellie.

Once we were back downstairs, we walked back into the dining room, only to find that Ellie wasn't there! One of the nannies pointed outside, and we found her out the door on her potty chair. We waited again while she finished, then washed her hands with the staff. Once she had washed, she came right to me, and I picked her up. She threw those tiny little arms around my neck, and it was all over. I didn't sob; I didn't want to scare her. But so much emotion was welling up in me! It's hard to explain here, and to be honest, I don't want to explain it to everyone. It's too personal. I'll share it all with Ellie one day, but I will tell you that I was just overwhelmed with gratitude to God for allowing me to be a part of this journey to bring her home!

We went inside where the other children were playing. You see, Ellie has never known doing anything without other kids around. She was much more comfortable with her friends around. We had a gift for her, so we gave that to her and read a book together, just trying to give her a chance to get used to us a little.

I have to say that one of my favorite moments of all was seeing Jeff holding Ellie for the first time. I know how much I love my dad, and I have prayed that she will be a daddy's girl through and through! I think she will be, based on what I saw that first day! It didn't take long til Ellie was smiling for all of our pics together and showing her friends her new toys! I love that she shares everything. She has no concept of owning anything, so it was not a big deal to her to let others play with the things we had brought to her. I hope that remains in her as it is so different from what alot of kids are like today.

We weren't there long, really. Just long enough to meet, take some pics with the nannies and other kids, then leave to go back to the Guest House. We did get to thank Tesfanesh, her nanny at the Transition House, for caring so well for Ellie! This woman deserves a medal for her work. I'm so grateful to God for women like her in Ellie's life thus far! It was a whirlwind visit really. Ellie fell asleep in Bryan's arms on the way to our Guest House. How amazing it was to see him with her! What a terrific big brother he is to her!! I'm so proud of him.. this is a real adjustment for him too!!

a little shy at first

Bryan's first time holding Ellie

safe in Daddy's arms

first of many books with Mommy

there's a smile...

Daddys' little girl

ahhhhh....

Tesfanesh...Ellie's nanny!

some of the Transition House staff

Ethiopia: Day 1

I'm going to try blogging day by day about our trip to Ethiopia. It's the easiest way to make sure that I don't miss anything.

Day one (Sunday, August 9th) was a busy and exciting day! We started early. We were awakened at 4am by the Muslim chants over the loud speakers outside our Guest House. We got up at 5am, and were on the road at 6:30am. We were picked up by Alazar, who drives for our agency in country. What a great man!

We headed over to the Transition House to pick up Sue, our agency director. I can't tell you how strange it was to know that Ellie was inside that house and not to see her. However, we knew that if we met her, we wouldn't want to leave her, and we really wanted to make this trip. We were headed out to Woliso, where Ellie was born and where she lived in the orphanage.

The drive to Woliso was about 2 hours southwest of Addis, and it was beautiful. It's rainy season in Ethiopia right now, so it rained some as we drove. The countryside was beautiful, so green and lush! Cows and donkey were everywhere- in the fields, yards and storefronts, and in the middle of the road. In Ethiopia, you don't use the brake much on a car; you just honk the horn!! HA!

As we drove into Woliso, I was overwhelmed by all the children we saw. They came runnning out to the street- dirty, hungry, some naked- but all smiling and waving. We stopped to buy some bananas and gave some out to the children along the way. They just gobbled them up! They were so hungry! Their hair has a golden tint to it, and it's not from heredity or from dirt; it's from malnourishment.

At the Ammanuel Orphanage, where Ellie stayed, we met Yob, the director, and Shetto, the nanny. Yob was very excited to meet us and know that we had adopted Ellie. Shetto, the nanny, told us how sad and shy Ellie was when she first met her. She was tearful and obviously moved when she heard that you were happy and healthy now. We got the chance to thank her for taking such good care of Ellie, and that is something I will be forever grateful for.

Shetto, nanny that cared for Ellie

Yob, Ammanuel Orphanage director

The tour of the orphanage was nothing short of heart-breaking. It didn't take long, as it is small and compact. We saw the bed that Ellie slept in, and I was overcome with seeing how dirty and tiny it was in that dingy and damp room. I held a baby that was filthy and smelly, and I was broken at the thought that I have been given so much when these children have so little.

The kitchen was the hardest part of all to see. They showed it to us, and all I could think of was "where is the food?" There was none. Nothing. What were they going to eat that day? Was it somewhere else? Would they have anything at all, other than what Sue had brought along with her that day? How many days did Ellie live here without enough to eat? How many nights did she go to bed with her little belly hurting from hunger?

Jeff entering the kitchen

another kitchen view- the thing in front of the orange tank holds coals that they cook over

The children at this orphanage are beautiful. There's no other way to say it! I wish I could post pictures of them with their beautiful smiles and knowing eyes. They would melt your heart. It's against policy to post pics of orphans on the internet, so I can't. But I pray that peoples' hearts are opening to the call of God to open their homes to these children!

While at the orphanage, Yob told us that Ellie's birthmom was nearby and had another baby that she wanted to place for adoption. Before we knew what to think, we were in the car again, on our way to meet the woman who gave life to our beautiful daughter! My emotions were raw, to say the least! I was nervous to meet her, wondering what I should say or how to act. But when I saw her, I was very much at peace.

Her name is Tigist, and she is quiet and beautiful. Ellie has her eyes. She stood not much taller than me, very thin and petite like Ellie will likely be. She was holding Ellie's baby sister, who is about 8 months old. She gave very little eye contact and spoke very softly, but as we stood together longer, she looked directly at me a few times. She is from the Garage (pronounced ga-raw-gi) tribe, known for its strong work ethic. I have no doubt that she works long, hard hours. Before you start to judge her for not taking care of her children, know that she works for about a dollar a day. She can't provide for her children in that kind of poverty. So, she gave Ellie (and is giving her other daughter) a gift that is beyond my scope of mind. She gave them life not only in birth, but through the miracle of adoption. We were able to get a few pictures of us together, that I will cherish forever. She teared up as we thanked her for the gift of Ellie. We promised to love her forever, as if I had given birth to her myself. I pray she is at peace knowing that Ellie is taken care of and loved dearly. I pray she rests well in knowing that her sacrifice was an answer to my prayer.

Ellie's birth mother, Tigist, holding her baby sister

Once we left Tigist, we made a couple of other short visits to other children who are being adopted. Then it was back to Addis, Ellie's baby sister in hand, to meet Ellie face to face for the first time! Stay tuned... that story is next!

The Many Faces of Ellie Kedest Prosser...

happiness

uncertainty

skepticism

fear

innocence

shyness

joy

contentment

peace

anticipation for her mommy, daddy and brother!

INTRODUCING....

Ellie Kedest Prosser!!


(Didn't I tell you she was beautiful?!)

We could not be more thankful to God for allowing us to have her in our family.
And many thanks to all of you who have prayed with us and for us (and her) throughout this long process.

More to come....for now, we're just celebrating our daughter!

DESTINATION: ELLIE UPDATE

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!

Thursday, June 18th

yes, that's next week~

We are so excited by this news! Our agency director contacted us via email yesterday to share this with us. To say that we are stunned is an understatement. I had actually prepared myself for the October dates! ha!

Please begin to pray with us that we will pass court the first time around. If this happens, we could have our girl home very soon!

WOO HOO!!!

I'll be sure to keep you posted...

Finally, some news..

I have just received word that Ellie was moved to the Transition House in Addis! We have prayed diligently for this to happen, so we are thrilled beyond measure, to say the least.

I have to give a hug thanks to a girl named Elle that is traveling with our agency director in Ethiopia right now. Elle is a teenager and apparently, she has one heck of a heart for God and for children in need. Her mom sent me a message that Elle was with our Ellie when she moved from her orphanage, gave her a bath and has her smelling good now. And Elle is even sleeping with Ellie while she's there with her! I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that someone there is taking a special interest and has fallen in love with my little girl! Elle- I will never be able to repay you for the peace that you helped to restore in my heart, just by knowing you are loving on our Ellie! I pray that God blesses you mightily for your work with His children there.

Still no court date, but we do know that everything was submitted in order to get a date. So, we wait, but with renewed hope, I must say.

Thank you for continuing to pray with us. Because of those prayers, our girl is in a new home with nannies that will love all over her, clean water, a bath and a precious girl loving her too!

Oh, and by the way... she loved the stuffed monkey we sent to her! Whew... thank goodness. We didn't want a repeat of the doll that she hated that we sent! hah!

So, it's obviously been a while since I posted here. I haven't had much to say, to be honest. I am frustrated. I hope that I can convey what I am feeling without completely confusing anyone or freaking people out. To be completely honest, I am writing more to help me sort things out than anything, so be patient with me.

We've heard nothing on Ellie.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

Two weeks ago, we were told that the documents needed to be submitted for court were finally in. Last week, we were supposed to actually be submitted. Yet here we are, almost at the end of May, and still no court date.

Some days, I start to worry. I start asking "Am I really meant to be a mom again?" "Did God ever intend for us to have a little girl?". You know the questions that creep in when you are trying your best to hold it together. I know it's Satan, so don't go worrying that I am having doubts about Ellie. Quite the contrary.

I am so tired of hearing people say that Ellie will be here "in God's timing". Maybe I am wrong here; I'm no scholar after all. But I don't think that everything happens just like He wants it to. After all, if it did, wouldn't Adam and Eve still have been in the Garden? I can think of other instances too, but that came to mind first. Quite frankly, I don't believe that God wants Ellie to be in that orphanage for one more minute, much less one more day, month, year.....I believe that He wants her here, at home, with her family. But it's not happening right now, and I can't make myself believe that it's God that is waiting.

I understand how the process works. I don't hold grudges at all against the government procedures; I get them. But that doesn't keep my heart from hurting because I want her here, and she is still there.

I trust that God led us to Ellie. No doubt about it. I knew the moment that I first saw her picture that she was ours. I just knew. Can't really explain it any other way. Some things are just known within you. And I know that one day she'll be here. I'll even go so far to say that when she is here, all of what I am feeling today will melt away and not matter at all.

But today, I hurt. I miss her. I want her room to be filled with her, not just books, clothing and pretty things. I want my little girl. I can hear Bryan upstairs right now. I want to hear her too.

Pray for us please. This is harder than I ever anticipated. I appreciate how you have covered us in prayer.

Maybe soon we will hear something good....

Running For Ellie

This morning, Jeff joined 11,999 other runners in Louisville for the 2009 mini marathon. Wow.. what a blast! Bryan and I, along with my mom & dad and Jeff's mom were there to cheer him on.
I can't tell you how proud I was of him as he crossed that finish line. He rocked. And.. he was the sexiest runner out there too :)

This was all done as a way to raise money to bring Ellie home. I cannot wait to tell her this story. She's one blessed little girl to have a daddy like him, as Bryan can already attest to.

Jeff coming across the finish line. He's on the right in the visor.

Woo hoo... he made it!

Bryan was so proud

Jeff and his mom.

My mom and dad

I'm proud of you Jeff. I love you!

I Believe

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:6-7)

I read those words this afternoon. It was perfect timing, no doubt. God knew what I needed to hear. You see, I've been anxious, worried and frustrated. I've been feeling like MY timing is best. I've been wrestling with God about this adoption: what is the hold up, why haven't we gotten our court date? I've been doing too much whining and not enough praying.

Scripture says that I should humble myself before God, and He will lift me IN DUE TIME. It then immediately tells me that He cares for me. Coincidence? I think not. I believe that God understands how hard it is to wait on His timing. So, He immediately follows up those instructions with encouragement that He loves and cares for us.

As we wait for a court date for Ellie, I find myself bouncing back and forth between absolute excitement and doubt. I find myself saying things like "She's never coming home" or "Maybe we were wrong about this". But I know that isn't true. That is Satan trying to get me to give up hope. And well, that is never going to happen!

Did you hear that Satan (because I know you are listening here!)??
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!

I believe that God created a precious little girl in a small village in Ethiopia around 2 1/2 years ago. I believe that He knew the extreme poverty that her mother would live in. I believe that He made a plan for her life from the very beginning, a plan that would prosper her and not bring her harm. I believe that He heard the cry of my heart, desiring to be a mother again. And I believe that in His infinite wisdom, God ordained that she would be that child. I believe that God knew from her first breath, that her mother would bring her into the world, but this mother would nurture her future. I believe that God ordained that her mother would step forward with courage and grace to make a plan that would allow her baby to have a life with more opportunity. I believe that He orchestrated every step of this process for us to wind up where she was waiting so that we could become a family.

I believe that one day, she will run through this house, calling me "Mommy" and calling Jeff "Daddy". I believe that she will adore Bryan, her big brother. I believe that she will have sleepovers with Nana, Papa, and Grammy. I believe that she will go to Gatlinburg with her Uncle Chris, Aunt Shelly and Kristin, and love it as much as they do. I believe that she will sing the silly "Sunday School Nightclub" songs with Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jim, Aaron and Breanna. I believe that she will walk through the doors of First Baptist Church into her family that has prayed for her for so long. I believe there will be many good night kisses, long bear hugs, sore throats, skinned knees, and broken hearts. I believe there will be piano lessons, school parties, proms and tests to study for. I believe that one day I will sit in a beautiful sanctuary where she will walk down the aisle on the arm of her Daddy to a man that God has already chosen for her.

I believe that she is my daughter.

Please pray for us as we wait for Ellie. We are in a bit of a crunch with time, as some of our important documents are about to expire. That will only delay bringing her home. Here are specific prayer requests:
1. to have a court date assigned and pass! (specifically assigned this week!)
2. for Ellie to move from her current orphanage to the Transition House in the city
3. continued health and safety for Ellie as she waits
4. for Ellie to begin to understand that we are her family, and that we love her
5. for her nannies and caretakers
6. for the staff of our agency who work so diligently to get through the paperwork chaos!
7. for the other children who are waiting with Ellie for their families
8. for us... as we wait and hope with great anticipation for the day that she is at home with us.

Thank you for how you have supported us in prayer, finances and encouragement so far on this journey. We truly could not do this without the love and support of so many friends and family!

Keep Believing

Progress

Jeff got the chair rail done for Ellie's room last week. It's precious.. exactly what I had imagined (thanks, hon, for all the work you put into it!). I love it. So, as promised... here are the pics. I still need something to go on the wall above her bed, and we will still add a bookshelf in there, but overall, it's just about finished!

Her name Ellie means "shining light" or "noble". Her Ethiopian name means "Blessed". We are blessed by her, for sure!

Bryan helped with the "special effects". Not bad, huh?? I love it!

This is still my favorite part of the room... "Such a big miracle in such a little girl". She has no idea how true that is!

The picture on her dresser is of her and her best friend in Ethiopia. So sweet....

The pillows make the bed! And I still love that lamp!

That chair rail sets things off, doesn't it??

This rocker was mine when I was a little girl! I love that Ellie will get to use it now.

We still have not heard about a court date yet. So, we wait and then wait some more. We still trust that God's timing is perfect. We did get a new video of her opening the package that we sent to her recently. That was amazing to see! She has pictures of us now, and the nannies at her orphanage will be telling her every day that we are her new momma, daddy, and brother. WOW!! DID YOU HEAR THAT?

WE are her FAMILY!
And that's really what this is all about....

Ellie, we love you. We're ready to have you home with us forever.

What A Great Idea!

Jeff is working hard to bring in some money for our adoption travel. Check it out here, and let us know if you want to be a part of this.

Thanks!

ch-ch-ch-changes

Our house is looking a bit different these days. This weekend was a whirlwind of home improvement, and we had a blast!

On Friday, Jeff and I started painting Ellie's room in preparation for bringing her home. I have to say that when that pink paint went on the walls, I got all teary-eyed. WOW.. I never thought I would be doing that! God is so good...

Saturday, we finished up her room, and decided while we were at it, we should go ahead and do some things in Bryan's room as well. I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here are the pics.

Never thought I would need pink paint....

Just making sure that I liked the color

The dresser, obviously. Horton is hanging out in there too!

headboard and cute lamp from Nana. There will be a lime green chair rail in between the pink and white eventually.

My favorite part of the room. So true... she is most definitely a miracle!

Bryan's "beastly" drumset (his words!), and the newly added stripe on the wall. Very teenage-ish, huh?

Drum heads from Bryan's first set (spells p-u-n-k), two authentic samurai swords, and some old skateboards... very cool!

2009 riddle....

What's 32 inches, 22 pounds and has the most beautiful smile imaginable?

Our little girl!

This is the post I have waited to write for so long!! We know who she is!
Yes, you heard me correctly.. we KNOW WHO SHE IS!

I am trembling as I write these words. It's not that I am cold or scared. I am truly in awe of God and how He hears us. You see, if you look back at this blog throughout the year (and if you have talked to Jeff or I at all this year), you will see a consistent theme to our prayers. We have prayed diligently, along with our family and friends, to know who it is that God has designed for our family, to be our daughter. Specifically though, we asked that He show us her by the end of the year.

This is where it starts to get really good...

On December 20th, I got online to check some emails, and like I always do, I looked at the website for our adoption agency to see if there were any new girls listed. I didn't really expect it, but it's become a routine to me. Anyway, much to my surprise there was a new little face smiling at me there. There was no more information, so I emailed our director asking for some specifics and thinking she would get back with me in a few days (it was a Saturday after all!) Sue, our director, emailed me back immediately asking if she could call me.

She called me minutes later and told me about this little girl... as much as she knew at that time. There wasn't a lot of information known, if truth be told, but what we learned was sad and exciting all at once. I shared all of this with Jeff while Sue emailed us more pictures of this girl. We felt a connection immediately. Precious doesn't begin to describe her! We were told that a video of her would be sent to us to view, but also we were told that another couple was considering her for adoption as well. We began to pray, along with many others.

On December 22nd, we learned that the other family had decided to wait for an infant girl, as they had originally planned.

On December 27th, we received a DVD of this little girl in the mail. I was a nervous wreck as we began to watch it! We were able to see her playing with a ball, and it was such a blessing to see her healthy and with all of her developmental skills as they should be. We wept as we watched her take the hand of the nanny and walk outside. Wow... what else can I say?

Jeff and I decided that we would not make any decision until the medical evaluation was complete. On December 30th, we received word that she had been evaluated and that there were no medical concerns. We knew that she was the one for us. God had indeed answered our prayers faithfully... and just when we had asked (by the end of the year). For good measure, He also gave us a bonus... our dossier was returned to us on December 31st, authenticated and sealed by the US Department of State and the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington DC!

Today, we received the complete medical evaluation, and it has only made us more and more certain that this child is truly meant to be ours. We feel a tremendous connection with her, and we want to rescue her from where she is currently living. Please pray for her as she deals with severe malnutrition (and little hope of having that improved in her current placement), some minor and common illnesses (we are talking about a third world country), and mostly for her emotional well-being. All reports indicate that she is a very scared and sad little girl. Who wouldn't be? She's experienced a great deal of hurt and loss in her life, so we see this as a normal response. We are fully aware of the extra time she will need to trust us once she is home with us. She hasn't exactly had a lot of reason to trust people in her life.

We trust that God has held her protectively and lovingly in His hands throughout her life. And we trust that He has brought us to her, shown us her face and overwhelmed us with a love for her that is amazing. We trust that His love is ever-healing, and that she will eventually blossom and flourish in our home.

"Now to Him who is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Eph. 3:20)